i really miss having a boyfriend
today has been pretty shitty. well everyday has been shitty. ive done nothing all day. like nothing. school is basically over but i still have to drag my stupid self over there and see people that i just cannot even look at anymore. like flowerchild had to go right in front of me. like i fucking hate him. i reset my phone for like 5 hours so that i can delete their numbers and yet he still asks to hangout with me but never does. i hate him. and then we dont do anything in class and i dont have friends so i just want to die. and band sucks
and now my mom is going ape shit and throwing stuff and yelling and crying and apprently liek always its my fault since im the one who cant control of my diabetes and im the one whos gong to become a drug addict and alcoholic and die at age 20 according to her. she never shuts the fuck up and she doesnt know how to be a good mother. shes just a bitch and i cant wait to leave this fucking house.
oh and me and KP arent going to pc because he didnt qualify for the depression study so hes back to square 1 with his busted knee. and so am i.
i just want to fucking die sometimes.
i just really hate myself. like today we did nothing and its so boring and i just want to die. i wanna leave and have friends again. im so lonely and no one even cares about me anymore ebcause i fucked everything up because im so stupid. im an idiot. i hate myself so goddamn much that it hurts